بیست...

Ever wondered how lonely I might feel? How I don't have any of you? How the thought of future terrifies me to the point I prefer not to see it, not picture it, I can't even talk about.Cuz no one exists in it. N I can only cry about it at night after for example you dudged me just to avoid being touched by me.N it's just not you. Everyone does it in a way. N tonight I didn't expect it to be a family. N I didn't know my heart could break once again, but I guess here it is.The future holds no one, n I hold no one's hand. I only bear the cup of the age of aquarius - alone, on my own, with no one to be seen. بیست......

_____________________________________________________How you loved me was gentle yet passionate. You had a way with paradoxes. I was one too. I didn't show it much. N I had absolutely no idea how much I actually needed you, just how good you were for me. It's a shame.You were soft with me, so damn romantic I couldn't bear it. It made me uncomfortable, awkward. I felt powerless around it, you, because I wasn't good at expressing my feelings. N I wasn't entirely engrossed in your love, I guess. But the way you'd look me, the way you adored n worshipped me was a kind of passionate softness that I never knew I'd fall for. You creeped in somehow. All your romantic nicknames n compliments, all your kindness... the blood from your heart finally got under my skin n I felt warm. I understood it. I felt your heart. N I felt the same.But it was too late. You had changed. You fell n made me fall with you only to get up n leave me sitting in the middle of a road that i'll never finish. That I never get to the finish line. N if I do, I'll be doing it alone. I'll be loving for the both of us. I'll love alone n stay in a one-sided road that I can only walk in one direction n will only remember memories of us in the beginning of it, n nothing but me from the middle on...N at times I pack my stuff n go to a different route just to somehow end up here again. Crying standing in the beginning of our road n revisiting all the memories n your jokes n nicknames n compliments n love n above all, your بیست......